Friday, May 22, 2020


Learning like a Candle

When I was in high school, I had a teacher explain learning is like a candle.  He challenged me to get several candles and go outside on a very dark night with no house light.

When I got home, I talked to my grandfather to help me find some candles and matches.  He helped me set up the candles on the back steps.  Before we started, my grandfather read the note from the teacher, this is you at the beginning of the class - 1 candle.  My grandfather started asking me questions.  When I answered the question correctly, I would light a candle.  In the beginning, I could not see the steps.  After answering the questions, I could see all the steps.

At the bottom of the page, another note, look at the candles and see how much you have learned.  Now put the candles to your back.   Look down, you can see a path.  Look out into the darkness as far as you can see. There will always be more to learn.  Use the knowledge for the candles to go forward and learn. No matter how many candles you light, there will be 1 more candle in the shadows to be lite.

As we find ourselves with more and more free time on our hands.  I challenge you to read, watch a video, do something to learn every day.  Every day you will be lighting a candle of knowledge.

Now that I am in my 50's, I understand the story.  An old man and a young man were working together.  The young man was trying to tell the old man this is a better way.  The old man waited until the young man was finished.  He looked at him and said, son, I have forgotten more than you know.  The old man looks at the young lady, call me when he needs me.  And he walks off.  Sometimes we forget that the people before us have learned lessons that we can learn from.


Saturday, May 16, 2020



For me, one of the hardest parts about COVID-19 is THE RULES.

I am still uncomfortable introducing myself and not shaking hands. My great-uncle taught me to shake hands at the beginning and end of a business conversation. Your word was sealed with a handshake. 
The other part about NO TOUCHING is touch is a positive motivator.    A pat on the back meant a good job.  A hug said I am here for you. 
#PositiveIdeaSay, Write, Post - some positive words of encouragement.

This rule, I do not like.  How do you carry on a conversation with someone 6' part?  Inside a building, it is more comfortable to talk. I feel very distant.   Being outside with all the noise and being 6' apart, I can not always understand what the other person is saying.  I have to say, "I am sorry, what did you say?"  I fell like I am yelling at the other person, and the other person is yelling at me.
#PositiveIdea: Use Video Chat to keep up with people.

#TheMASK - I do not mean this to offend anyone. 
I am not a doctor. I do not have a medical degree. Over the past 50+ years, I have helped with a lot of sick people, including my children's health issues. From everything I have read in medical journals and medical personal I have talked to, it traps your carbon dioxide and other poisons you breathe out.  You breathe in the trapped toxins back into your lungs. A medical mask is not meant for people to wear them for an extended period. People need to breathe in fresh oxygen.  
When I wear a mask, I feel confined and trapped.  Sometimes I have breathing issues. I have trouble breathing with something over my mouth.
#PositiveIdea: Change your HVAC filters once a month.  In your home, get plants to help purify the air.  Go somewhere where are trees and plants to breathe in good air.

#CONFINEMENT:  Because of COVID-19, I mainly stay in a 10x10 room with no windows, my office.  It can get very lonely being single and by yourself day in and day out.  I am very thankful I have adult children who I can see in person, I can call, text, and video chat.
#PositiveIdeaAt my office, after everyone leaves, I walk to get in some exercise.

COVID-19 has changed how people interact with each other.  I am asking for everyone to love everyone and help meet the needs of the people around you.  My grandfather said, "Don't look down on people.  You are only one breath away from being that person.  Help everyone you can.  So when you need help. there are people to help you."


Sunday, May 10, 2020



I have read many versions of the holy scripture, many books, lessons, and listened to many speakers.  These bible verses have helped me thru a lot in both happiness and sorrow.  This is what these Bible verses say to me.

1 CHRONICLES 4:8-10  KJV 2000

VERSE 8:  And Koz begat Anub and Zobebah, and the families of Aharhel the son of Harum.

VERSE 9:  And Jabez was more honorable than his brethren: and his mother called his name Jabez, saying Because I bore him with sorrow.

VERSE 10:  And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.

In verses 1-8:  There is a long list of men and their sons ...  Then Jabez interrupted the scripture in the list of descendants.  He was different and honorable. Even thru it is not clear who his father is, it is clear he is in the line of the Tribe of Judah.  The Tribe of Judah is the King's bloodline.  The scriptures indicated that he was always honorable.
Jabez's name meant he caused pain and sorrow.  The verses do not say if he received the name Sorrow / Pain because of Mental, Physical, Social or Economic sorrow to his mother.  A loss of a husband could have been all of these for his mother.  All we know is when his mother looked on her son & she named him.  Naming the child is the father's position in the family, but Her sorrow and pain were so great that she called him Jabez - Sorrow and Pain.

Jabez came to a place in his life that he wanted things to be different.  He did not want the same old experience that all the other brothers, neighbors, and the men in verses 1-8 had.  Jabez wanted more and better, but honorable.  And he prayed.

Jabez prayed, You would bless me indeed!  Jabez did not ask for a one-time blessing, he asked for a God size blessing.  A miraculous presence not for just for his family but to bless his community.  

Jabez prayed to enlarge his borders.  He wanted more fields and more animals and more workers to help people with food and money, just like people helped his mother. Becoming wealthy and honorable meant, Jabez got the position to sit in the gate (a town lawyer or town judge) to help people with their problems. In today's language, A man would pray to own a large company to employ all the people in his community.  Because he was a leader in the city, he would also be a political leader for all ... after all, he is in the King's bloodline. Or If he became a lawyer to help people, he would become the best lawyer, and then became the best judge to help people.

Jabez prayed for God's hand to be on him.  He did not want a one-time blessing but a relationship with God and His hand continually on him.

Jabez prayed For God to keep him from evil.  Because he was honorable, when God gives him wealth and power, he did not want sin in his life.  Jabez did not want to do evil to people.  He did not want others to do harm to him.  More importantly, Jabez wanted God to keep the evil one away from him.

Jabez prayed it would not grieve me.  He did not want to be the source of pain, and he did not want to be in pain anymore.  He knew only God and give God size miracles.

God granted his prayer.  God changed his life.  At the beginning of verse 9, Zabez was the source of sorrow and pain.  With God's blessings at the end of verse 10, he became the overcomer of grief and pain for himself and his family and his community.


Saturday, May 9, 2020

My Blog - Live The Positive Life


Over the last few years, I would travel to the mountains of NC a lot.  I would come up to be with my mother.  She did not know I was her daughter but she was happy to see me.  On her good days, she asked what I was doing.  Can you imagine now to explain what a blog is to an 80+ lady?  I finally said I am sending letters to people.  To help her understand, I let her read these letters.  She said oh that's nice.  As time when by and more she read, she asks, why did I leave out Jesus? I used the word, God. She would say I know that, but I said, Jesus.   She asked me, Why are you being positive?  Who is the real reason why you are positive?  Who is your example of being positive?  I tried to explain that I had placed in my blog that talked about God.  She said that is good but where is Jesus?  The more I tried to explain the more questions she had about Jesus.

The question she asked me that stopped me in my tracks was.   Are you ashamed of Jesus?  Are you afraid to say, Jesus?  No Momma I am not ashamed and I am not afraid.  She said really - Read your words.   I was not intentionally leaving out the word Jesus.  I was not trying to be religious.  I was just trying to get people to live a more positive life vs negative life. 

Now that my momma has passed I still hear her questions.  Are you ashamed of Jesus? Are you afraid of saying the word, Jesus?  My answer is No.  No, I am not ashamed of Jesus.  No, I am not afraid to say, the name Jesus.  I am a Christian.  I am who I am today because of Jesus Christ ... A Sinner Saved by Jesus' Blood.  And I will see my mother again when I go to heaven.  But more importantly, I will see Jesus.  He died for me on the cross.  Thank you, Jesus, for everything you have done for me and everyone in the world.

My mother asked me to put more Jesus in my Letters to the World.  So in honor of my mother's request, I will.

In the summer before the 1st grade, I spent a week in Greenville, SC with my great Aunts.  One night I could not sleep.  My Aunt found me up and we started talking.  When she asked me about Jesus, I said I was too young - that is what the adults had told me.   Then she said if you could ask Jesus for 1 thing what would it be?  I said I do not have a real friend, I would like to have a real friend.  My aunt told me Jesus would be my best friend if I ask him to be.  So I closed my eyes and asked Jesus to be my best friend.  And He is my best friend.

That is why I do not think about my relationship with Jesus as being religious.  He is my best friend.  Sometimes I don't talk with him (pray).  Sometimes I don't read his love letters to me (The Holy Bible).  Sometimes I do what I what to do instead of doing what I know He wants me to do.  When I am hurt and broken, Jesus is always there to hold me and help me.  I love Jesus and I know He loves me too.

Jesus reminds me, I am a living soul and I  have a body.  What do I connect to my soul?




I have asked to give this subject a little bit of positive.

Examples of people are spending positive time together.  

A friend said she is getting to know her son and her son is getting to know her.  She said she understands her son and his sense of humor better.  Before she thought he was just being mean but she learned it was his dry humor.  Now when he says something off the wall, they just laugh.   She also found out he can sing and really good at card games.  Now if he wants to play on his #ComputerGames, he has to play card games with his family.  She said Win-Win.  She also said to watch tv, she has to use the treadmill.  Her husband said win-win.

I was talking to a couple.  She said all the neighbors come outside about the same time every evening to get fresh air.  Every family takes turns walking up and down the street waving at the neighbors and saying HI.  That is creative

A teenager said in order to see her boyfriend she has to sit in the family car in her driveway while her mom and dad sit on the porch.  Her boyfriend parks in his sport and they look at each other and talk on their cell phones.  Now that's funny.  She said that is better than face time all the time.

I was talking to a grandmother, she said she is not taking her pain meds and her high blood pressure medician.  This slower lifestyle is great.

A mother said she is having fun cooking real meals with real food for her family.  She is loving working from home.  She is not doing the hurry up and heat-up the meals.  There is no more hurry-hurry in her house.  Then later she made a post she is going to miss this when everyone goes back to being busy again.  My committed is: ask &  see if you can work from home late.  You are now. :) 

When this Pandemic is over and we go about your life.  Remember you are living your lives now.  Decide now how you want to live your life.  Slower can be better.  




My Mother, and No Dad

I grew up on a working farm in the '60s. On this farm, there were a lot of animals, my grandparents, my sister, my Mother, and no dad.  My grandfather was really my dad.  I preferred to stay outside, helping him with the land and animals.  I hate to say this, but my mom and I did not get along.  When I was little, things happened.  I would ask about my father, but she would say it is best if I did not know him.  The kids at school would say things to me about not having a dad.  The words were heartrending.  That made me want to know him because everyone has a dad to exist.  Something was missing.  Then the adults would lie to me about my dad.  So I never knew the truth.

As time passed, we drifted apart.  My mom and I never talked about anything important.  My children seemed to be a nuisance to her.  There were things between us that made it uncomfortable.  We never made plans except for her birthday.  Her birthday was around Thanksgiving, so I tried to also see her for her around Thanksgiving.

About 10 years ago, Mark's dad got sick.  His eyes got infected, and the infection when to his brain.  His dad did not recognize Mark as his son, but Mr. Abba would call him Hank - his son-in-law, the cop.  Mr. Abba would talk about Mark to Hank. It was so funny.  I remember one time Mark called his dad from his dad's yard.  They talked and talked until his dad said I need to find Hank.  I have to keep an eye on him.  When Mark walked in, Mr. Abba told Hank all about the call he just had with his son Mark in NC.  That night we went out to eat, and we laughed.  Mark said now I know how much my dad really loves me.  These memories would help me with my Mother.  

Over the last several years, my mom's mind started declining.   She had Alzheimer's. She did not remember me or my name.   So every time I went to see her, I remembered how Mark handled his dad, not knowing him. I stopped being upset because she did not know me.  I noticed my Mother wanted me around more and more.  She would ask me to come back to see her.  I would go see my mom, I was not her daughter -  I was a caregiver.   She would say now make sure they pay you because sometimes they are stingy.  I would just laugh.   Sometimes she would talk about her childhood.  It was as if she was right there reliving it.  There were a few times she would just stop talking, and she would say there are things not worth mentioning because all it is--- is pain.

 Now I understand why she would not tell me about my dad.  The subject of him, my grandparents, and other things were so painful to her because she had not forgiven herself.  I don't know what happened, and now it is not essential, but whatever it was - I forgive you, Mom.



In February 2020, I drove from FL to NC to be with Mother because I was told she was getting sicker. She passed within a few weeks.  On Sunday before she passed, my Mother knew me and told me she was ready to go home (Heaven), reaching upward.  So this Mother's Day, my Mother is in a heavenly home.  Mom, I miss you, but you are healthy now.  One day I will see you again.  Love you, Mom.  Thank you for giving me life.

Since her death in March, I have had a hard time.  I have been out of sorts ... with work, with relationships, with life ... with everything.  I am trying to find my way.  I never thought her death would feel like this.

I try to always leave on a positive note.
The positive is she is in heaven, healthy and happy.
The positive is I will see my Mother again.

Love your Mother while you have her ... good - bad - indifferent ... Love Your Mother, she gave you life.


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